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THE UNSPOKEN RULE OF MARRIAGE – Michelle Oluwatobi-Adesanya

THE UNSPOKEN RULE OF MARRIAGE – Michelle Oluwatobi-Adesanya

There’s this unspoken rule when it comes to marriage, people consciously or unconsciously begin to drift away from you because they think that you are now married and so your life can’t be the same again.

It happens so often, and you’ll realize that if you are not intentional about maintaining your space in people’s lives they’ll help you create an assumption that could affect the relationship.

I started to experience it, people drawing back and saying stuff like “Now that you are married let’s not disturb you”.
Or “I’d have loved to involve you in this but you know you are married.”
Some will even see you posting online and tell you to go and meet your husband and stop posting.
It hurts when it’s coming from people who really really matter to you.
It can be really annoying to be honest, I mean, I know it’s coming from a place of goodwill but then again, you can create boundaries and still not let it affect the relationship you are building.

Marriage is not a prison yard, while I agree that this transition brings a lot of changes in a person’s life, the truth is life continues normally and there should not be so much disruption in relationships and other key aspects of your life because a person is now married.

I’ve had to really fight through this, sometimes it’s hard and it hurts.
Even though the rule seems like an unspoken one, it’s so loud.

I don’t want my entire life to be on hold because I’m married, I don’t want to lose relationships because I’m now a married woman, I still want to be that person I’ve always been and being married shouldn’t change that.

It’s a mindset we really have to work on though.

Dear married people, can you relate with this?
Did you experience this at the beginning of your marriage? Did it affect you? How did you handle it?
I’ll love to learn from you.

©Michelle Oluwatobi-Adesanya


Newbirthminds is a ministry put together by the leading of the Holy Spirit, committed to raising and helping people live 24/7 for Jesus, and that these people will, in turn, lead others to do the same.

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