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HOW TO RAISE A SON (FOR THE MARRIED AND SINGLE PARENTS) – Dayan Masinde

HOW TO RAISE A SON (FOR THE MARRIED AND SINGLE PARENTS) – Dayan Masinde

1. Do not prefer a daughter more than a son. Both genders are special

2. When he is an infant, speak to his life and future

3. Every morning, declare that he will grow up to be a champion

4. As a father, be a good example to him. Be present

5. As a mother, tell him he will be a great man

6. Introduce him to great men who are older than him, let him spend time around them, let him hang around men of character. Especially if you are single mother and the dad is absent

7. Gradually introduce a skill into his life through fun games. Teach him to think fast, to work as a team, fair play

8. Decorate his bedroom in a boyish way. Posters of super heroes, and boy toys

9. Call him a name that calls out his greatness like “Champion”, “Hero”, “Warrior”, “Boss”. Define him

10. Do not compare him with other boys, telling him “Why can’t you be like this boy or that boy?” This will lower his self esteem. Instead, push him to be the best of him, not a copy of another boy

11. As a father, demonstrate to him how to treat females by how you treat your wife, daughter, sister, colleagues

12. As a father, let him see you praying, reading the Bible, being active in Church. Let him see that Godly service and spirituality is not for females only

13. Encourage him to be a builder, to build things. Buy him Minecraft games and building blocks. Give him little projects to build. Encourage him to have a vision, a plan and to follow it through. Let him be in charge of something. Men are builders

14. Let him fix things. Request him to carry loads, to cut the grass, to fix what is broken and when he is older, to change bulbs. Teach him to be handy

15. Give him chores in the house: Washing clothes, taking out the trash, painting the house, even cooking. Teach him that men should also be responsible in the home. Don’t encourage him to just sit on the sofa and be lazy

16. As a single mother, give him a title, something like “My Bodyguard”, “The man of the house”. Empower him by making him feel like a protector

17. Play with him games that show strength, like arm wrestling. Do work outs with him

18. Compliment him on his changes; his deep voice, his broadening of shoulders, his physique, his facial hair. Make him feel good about growing up. Boost his self image

19. Tell him you love him. Yes, he might act like it’s not cool. But he needs to know this. Let him hear you say it and write it to him

20. As a father, do not put pressure on him to prove himself to you. Far too many sons grow up feeling rejected by their fathers. Mentor him instead. Walk with him. Be his ally. Mentorship is more powerful than fear

21. Talk to him about hygiene, grooming and culture

22. Expose him to legends, whether through books, movies, music or oral conversation. Teach him about culture, your family tree, icons and role models. Take him to events that will expand his mind

23. Debate with him about topics such as politics, science, sports, arts, general knowledge. Sometimes deliberately let him win the debates to boost his morale. Make him opinionated

24. Don’t always give him solutions. Walk with him towards finding solutions. Ask him “What do you think should be done?” This will teach him how to problem solve and take leadership

25. Allow him to express himself and find his own identity. Be involved in celebrating his identity even when it’s different from yours. His hairstyle, his dressing. As long as it is not too extreme, don’t fight it. Don’t fight something that you know very well he will outgrow. You were once young too. Learn the culture he is growing in. Be cool

26. Help him to identify his strengths, talents and passion. Encourage it. Guide in choosing a career that he will own. His own career, not the one imposed by you

27. Encourage him to take risks, teach him to accept failure, to rise again, to learn from a fall

28. Support his healthy friendships as you minimize the nonconstructive ones; do this subtly by talking highly of the good company

29. Talk to him about his penis, sex, sexuality and how to be responsible with his sexuality. Be the person he gets from the real talk about sex, be the voice that guides him because his friends, the media, the internet will throw all kinds of information about sex

30. Show that you’re proud of him. Brag about him. Release him to the world with him knowing you are behind him

31. Check up on him time to time once he moves out. Let him know if he needs you, you are reachable

32. Watch him rise and shine. Your boy is now a man

© Dayan Masinde

Newbirthminds

Newbirthminds is a ministry put together by the leading of the Holy Spirit, committed to raising and helping people live 24/7 for Jesus, and that these people will, in turn, lead others to do the same.

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