Money: the lack or plenty of it, the use or misuse of it; money can be a source of conflict and strain in a relationship/ marriage. These are some of the ways to ensuring money does not become an impediment to the health of your love;
- LOVE THE PERSON NOT THEIR MONEY
Don’t let money be the reason you love a person. For money can come and go, sometimes we make losses at times profit. If your love for someone is based on their wealth or lack of it then it is not love but a commercial opportunity. Don’t peg love on money.
- DISCLOSE YOUR OWN YOUR FINANCIAL TRAIL
Tell your partner your financial background, if you have debt, if you were once wealthy then got broke and why, if you have plenty and how you got to be so rich. Your partner needs to know who he/ she is committing to.
- EARN A LIVING THAT IS FULFILLING
Pursue a job or income activity you love. If you hate your work it will affect your peace and joy, you’ll be bringing your frustrations home to your partner, ever complaining and bitter why you work so hard in something you hate so that you two can meet needs. When you love your work, you enjoy paying for the daily bread
- BOTH OF YOU SHOULD CONTRIBUTE
Pay bills together, pick bills and items each of you will pay for. She can pay for house needs, he school fees. Both of you should find ways to contribute as this will not make anyone feel overburdened or useless. When someone gives they have more confidence and joy. Even a man who demands to be the sole provider will admire and respect a woman who can earn and handle finances too.
- BE AWARE OF EACH OTHER’S CAPACITY
Even as you both contribute it doesn’t necessarily mean you two will be individually on the same financial level. Don’t discriminate or look down on each other based on capacity, you are in this together.
- GROW TOGETHER
Whatever little or much you have as individuals or a couple, there is still room for growth. They say no romance without finance but actually love motivates people to grow, when people have a target for their love they become better especially if the person walks with them towards financial growth.
- BE OPEN AND TRANSPARENT
Be financially naked, be an open book. Have a joint bank account if you agree, have access and information. Tell your partner when you’re broke or when you get a lucrative deal. You don’t really trust your partner if you don’t trust him/ her with your finances.
- HAVE A COMMON FINANCIAL GOAL
Analyze the health of your finances together, scout for opportunities, formulate short, mid and long term financial plans, work as a team. Have a common purpose, invest, save together.
- MAKE FINANCIAL DECISIONS TOGETHER
Even if it is money you individually earned, involve your partner when making financial decisions. Involve your partner before making a purchase as this enhances teamwork, joint ownership, and trust. Agree together which car to buy, which house to live in, what to have as priority.
- LIVE WITHIN YOUR MEANS
Don’t spend more than you earn. Don’t force yourself to live in a class bracket you cannot sustain, instead, work towards getting to that class. Be financial disciplined and plan for what’s ahead.
- ENJOY WEALTH TOGETHER
No need to work so hard yet you don’t enjoy your wealth. Spoil yourselves, treat yourself with the fruit of your joint labor. You deserve it.
- REFRAIN FROM USING FINANCES AS A WEAPON
Avoid financial abuse especially if you are the one who earns more. Don’t revenge or fight your partner with financial sanctions or intimidation when things are not good between you two. Don’t go down that love threatening road.
- AVOID DEBT
As much as you can, avoid debt. Even if you will take loans, work on being self sufficient as a couple as soon as possible. Aim for surplus.
- KEEP OFF COPYING OTHER COUPLES AND TRENDS
Even if you see other couples spending big, buying fancy cars, mortgaging mansions, living a high life; don’t fall into the temptation of copying them. Find your own lifestyle which you can comfortably sustain. Don’t let the pressure to fit in or your desire for a glossy public image mislead you to making crippling financial decisions.
- COMPLIMENT EACH OTHER’S FINANCIAL STRENGTH AND WEAKNESS
Some people are brilliant creatives but poor at managing resources, others are spendthrifts, others are good at managing but not good at earning money, others have alot of money but others have ideas that need financing. Find out each other’s strengths and weaknesses and work as a team in forming a powerful financial force.
- REMEMBER WEALTH IS NOT A TICKET TO HAVING AFFAIRS
Even when you get abundance of wealth, remain faithful. Don’t use your wealth to get pleasure on the side, use your wealth to love your partner even more.
© Dayan Masinde and Akello Oliech