- PURSUE HER
Jesus came for the Church. Meaning He saw a vision with and of the Church before the Church saw it. (While we were still sinners the Lord died for us Romans 5: 8).
Pursue her with a vision and even while you have her, still pursure her and woo her. Jesus’ love for the Church didn’t change when the Church came to be
- LEAD HER IN LOVE
Now that you see the vision, lead her. Communicate that vision to her. Show her life is better with you than without you. Lead her in seeing progress and growth in her life
(“But thanks be to God, who always leads us as captives in Christ’s triumphal procession and uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere.” 2 Corinthians 2: 14)
- TELL HER YOU LOVE HER
Communicate that you love her. Take every opportunity to tell her she is the apple of your eye. Using your words, texts, and written letters; affirm her of your love. Jesus has letters written to the Church expressing His love.
- DISCIPLE HER
Disciplining her means modeling to her the values to live by. You want her to be respectful, be respectful; you want her to be prayerful, be prayerful; you want her to be peaceful, be peaceful; you want her to be mature, be mature; you want her to impact lives, you impact lives. Don’t order her, show her.
(“Come, follow me,’ Jesus said, ‘and I will send you out to fish for people.’ At once they left their nets and followed him.” Matthew 4: 19-20)
- SERVE HER
To love her like Christ means serving her, not dominating her. It means pleasing her and looking out of her, not always waiting for her to serve you.
(“If I then, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I gave you an example that you also should do as I did to you” 1 John 13: 14-15)
- SPEAK INTO HER FUTURE
Your words have power. The same way Christ speaks life, purpose and greatness into the Church; do the same for your wife. Don’t insult her, build her up with your words.
(“and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” Matthew 16: 18)
- BE PATIENT WITH HER
There will be tough moments, moments when you will feel like quitting on her or times when she will let you down or not grow or do things as first as you desired. But remember how patient Christ is with the Church. Be patient with your wife.
(“… And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matthew 28: 20)
- PRAY FOR HER
Pray for her the way Christ prays for the Church. Intercede for her. Plead with God for her.
(“I pray for them. I don’t pray for the world, but for those whom you have given me, for they are yours.” John 17: 9)
- WATER HER
Shower her with compliments, speak love to her, help her to clean her heart from her past filth, help her to unlearn the darkness of her past as you walk with her in learning love. How your wife comes to you, is dependent on how much watering you are doing in her.
(Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless” Ephesians 5: 25-27)
- EQUIP HER TO GROW
Do not fight her progress, don’t fight her purpose and potential. If she wants to go to School, support her; if she wants to advance herself, encourage her; if she wants to start a business, support her. Allow her to be better.
(“So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up” Ephesians 4: 11-12)
- PROTECT HER
Watch over her, protect her from spiritual enemies and those who don’t mean well in the form of your friends, family or haters. Christ guards the Church.
(“Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings” Psalm 17: 8-10)
- SHOW GODLINESS TO HER
Let her see you and see the God in you. Let her see Godly love through you.
Let God increase in you as you decrease.
(“Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? John 14: 9)
- DIE FOR HER
Dying for her doesn’t mean you kill yourself phyiscally for her but that you put down your pride, selfishness and ego in order to love her. To stop thinking just about you.
(“but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men” Philippians 2: 7)
- LOVE HER TO SUBMISSION
It is wonderful that you want her to submit to you as a husband, but notice how Jesus did not arm twist the Church to submit to Him, but rather, He loves the Church so well to the point that the Church willingly and naturally submits to Him.
Create such a loving environment that your wife can’t help but submit to you.
(“Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” Ephesians 5: 21-24)
- BE FAITHFUL TO HER
Christ has only one Church, and He has focused on His one Church without detouring or being distracted.
(“There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called” Ephesians 4: 4)
- LISTEN TO HER
Let her feel safe to approach you and talk to you, the same way the Church feels safe to lean on Christ.
(“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me” Revelation 3: 20)
- BEFRIEND HER
Christ calls the Church His friend, disclosing to the Church deep secrets and revelations, His next move. Don’t keep secrets from your wife, disclose to her your thoughts and next move. Plan with her, let her be a part of every aspect of your life, not just a beautiful person who is tagging along with you.
(“I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” John 15: 15)
- TAKE CARE OF HER
Care about her, take care of her needs. Nourish her. Is she OK, is she hurting, has she eaten, is her health OK? Don’t do things that hurt her.
(“In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.” Ephesians 5: 28-29)
© Dayan Masinde and Akello Oliech