Of course, I had high chemistry for my fiance in courtship! This thing called love can “shack”, seize your brain and scatter your logic!
It felt so warm, so electric and so hot being in love with Dewunmi and I ran after him as much a he ran after me. He loved me, all of me. His smiles always melt my heart and his high level of self control was a sexual turn on on its own.
I wanted his hug badly but he wouldn’t budge. 5 years was exciting without sex because we did more talking, facing our academics, passing in flying colours and working out our goals.
Then we graduated and we both had our jobs and he would visit me. My tall, slim, handsome virgin dude would always visit me. When I couldn’t handle the crazy urge to merge anymore, we got married and sex has been passionate IN MARRIAGE with him. The fact that he waited till marriage and sleeps with only me gets me turned on for him easily.
Here is the point:
1. SEXUAL ATTRACTION IS NORMAL IN COURTSHIP: If it is God’s will, you will have chemistry for each other. It is the erotic love needed to fulfill God’s commandment of “Be fruitful and multiply” in marriage. Don’t kill yourself with guilt because you often feel like kissing, hugging and having sex with her (as long as you don’t do it, no need to hang yourself with condemnation). I was once single. I felt what you are feeling. That crazy urge is part of the total package called love.
2. SET BOUNDARIES: Setting boundaries will help you stay in check. No visitation beyond 7 o clock, no hugging, no kissing, no pecking, no nothing that will stir your hormones and make you lose your brain. You must stay sexually pure in courtship. Setting boundaries will help you a lot.
3. BE HONEST WITH EACH OTHER: Ovulation can sometimes jazz up your sexual desire making you lose control to something as simple as touch. Let him know the days you can’t just see him talk less of touching. There are days as a man you know your libido is high, don’t visit.
4. AVOID, FLIRTY, SEXY, MIDNIGHT CHATS: You will lose your sanity and get horny, the next time you see, you may land in bed and have sex with each other like crazy! Don’t start what you can’t finish and one day regret!
5. SET YOUR WEDDING DATE: If your sexual urge is getting unbearable, kindly set your wedding date and set yourself free. If you are still schooling, you might need to get a break from your courtship till you get your bearing and then resume.
Some singles might say, “What happens to self control?” Yes, you must have self control as a good born again Christian but courtship requires more than self control to keep your virginity/sexual purity. Setting boundaries is the key!
You can’t be praying together on your bed on a cold rainy night and preach self control to each other. That is stupidity of the highest order! The bible says: “Can a man carry fire in his bossom and not be burnt?” Another passage says: “FLEE (run away) from all appearances of evil”.
To keep your sanity in courtship, learn when to stay and when to run so you don’t lose your sanity and come weeping you made a mistake.
May you not fall in Jesus’ name.
Thanks for reading. See you next time. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2019; reposted, 2021
Featured image credit: Freepik.com