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DON’T BASE YOUR MARITAL DECISION ON THE CONVICTION OF THE OTHER PERSON – Okolie Samuel

DON’T BASE YOUR MARITAL DECISION ON THE CONVICTION OF THE OTHER PERSON – Okolie Samuel

Tunde and Mary was in the same church serving in different departments. Tunde was in the Protocol while Mary was with the Ushers.

When he was praying for a life partner, God was directing his attention to Mary. So he decided to undergo a personal program to enquiry from God.

It was during the program that he got convicted that Mary was his wife.

Although, before he proposed to her, he started getting close to her and they became pretty close. They don’t pass a day without hearing from each other or chatting.

After like 4 months of being close, Tunde made his intention known to her, that he wants to marry her.

Though Mary saw the signs that it’s like brother Tunde wants to marry me but she have not heard from God, thus she asked him to give her some time.

But, to Tunde it seems Mary is taking much time to give him answer, so he began to complain..

“Sister Mary, after my three days of marathon fasting and prayer I was convinced beyond every reasonable doubt that you’re the perfect will of God for my life.”

“It has been over 4 months now since I proposed to you. Please, when are you going to accept my proposal?”

“Tunde, I need time. I have told you.”

“You have had enough time! It’s been over 4 months now! I mean, this is the 8th month of us being together.”

“I know, but I’m not convinced yet. Moreover, I’m not desperate to get married. I just have to hear from God for myself first.”

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“Are you doubting me?”

“Of course not! I’m not doubting your conviction, just that I have to be convinced too! Marriage is not based on one conviction only. It’s not something one enters on the conviction of the other partner only. I’ve to be convinced too, that’s my point.”

“It’s taking longer than required. This is over 4 months we’re talking about.”

“I know, Tunde. I just want you to be  patient. I have been praying and God hasn’t spoken yet. The time spent to get the answer is worth it, marriage is such a critical something one just have to be both patient and careful with. Moreover, as I’m waiting on God for an answer, let’s use this opportunity to get to know each other more better.”

“Alright, alright, alright, I have heard you. I will be patient.”

“Thank you, now you’re beginning to see reasons with me.”

Tunde gave her “What’s-this-one-saying” look. 若若若

It was on the 5th month that God spoke to Mary that Tunde was His will for her life.

God went further to confirm it to her through 2 ways…

1. God spoke to her pastor about it.

When Tunde proposed marriage to Mary, she told her pastor and requested that he join her in prayers.

2. God revealed it to her friend and prayer partner, Lizzy.

Mary also told her friend and prayer partner to join her in prayers.

After she got the answer and confirmation she needed, on a date one day, she said yes to Tunde.

The young man leaped and shouted in joy. This alerted the other people in the eatery.

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He knelt down and placed the ring he always carry about in his pocket on her finger and they hugged each other. That was one of the happiest day of his life.

Honestly, any man in his shoe will do the same because Mary is a material. Kai! Everyman will be proud to have her. Blessed is the man she will say yes to, that’s more reason he was pressuring her to accept his proposal.

After 6 months of courtship and counseling as stipulated by their marriage committee, they got married and lived happily ever after.

Fiction.
*************************

Brethren, what am I trying to say with story?

1. Do not marry anyone because the person said that God said that you are his or her wife or husband.

God is not the author of confusion. He can’t go about telling people that you’re their wife or husband without also informing you who’s going to be the wife or the husband.

So, whether the person climbed Mount Everest and did 70 days marathon fasting and prayer, don’t marry until you hear God for yourself.

2. Don’t marry based on the fact that the person is convinced about you meanwhile you’re not convinced about the person.

Don’t base your marital decision on the conviction of the other person. You must be convinced too. Just like Mary said, marriage is not based on one conviction either from you or your partner but from both individuals.

3. Don’t allow anyone to pressure, threaten or blackmail you to marry him or her.

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You can see the way Tunde was pressuring and was trying to blackmail(“Are you doubting me?”) Mary to marry him because he heard from God but Mary stood her ground, that is how you should not allow anyone to pressure or blackmail you?

Even if the person said that he heard from God, the Holy Spirit, Jesus and the 24 Elders, don’t get pressured or threatened. You are a Christian too and can hear from all these people too.

4. Don’t marry in isolation, carry people along.

When you are in a relationship, don’t hide it from important people in your life, your parents, Pastor, mentor, friend, church marriage committee etc., should know about it at the appropriate time. Do it with sense.

These people will help you to pray along with you. They will also help you to watch out for red flags you may not see because of emotions.

5. Don’t marry a stranger. Get to know who you are getting married to.

Whether you are dating or in courtship, the primary purpose is to know the person and their suitability of being a life partner.

Dating or courtship time is not licking ice-cream, eating rice and chicken, visiting the cinema, beach and all of that, these are social activities involved but the main purpose is to know the person, their values, personality, vision, character, attitude etc. Don’t forget that.

Thanks for reading
#marryright #treatingrelationalissues #buildinghappyhomes
© Samuel Okolie

Source: NdepoTV

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