In choosing a life partner, there are principles scattered all over the Scriptures to guide us. When you obey this principles, you are simply doing the will of God.
Most times, God will not come down to you face to face to tell you this is the person to marry. He only guides you by His words and it is now left for you to make your choice according to His principles or your own principles:
Here are some biblical principles that should guide you in your decision of a life partner and to confirm the will of God for you in marriage.
- Choose someone in Christ. Don’t be unequally yoked with an unbeliever if you are born again- 2 Corinthians 6:10-12. So the will of God is that we marry someone who is genuinely born again if you are born again. Believer and unbeliever cannot work together. Unbeliever and unbeliever can work together, they are more compatible.
- Choose someone you are compatible with: Can two work together except they agree? Amos 3:3. The will of God for us is to choose someone who we are compatible with in vision, doctrine and purpose for life. The individual may be a very good friend, someone you know to a great extent or someone you may not be too close to but you have watched and observed from afar.
- Choose someone with the right character and attitude: A virtous woman and a prudent man, who can find? Proverbs 31:1-30. The will of God for us to to marry someone who has godly and the right attitudes and characters. You must also have a good attitude and character too. When you see some warning signs in attitude, habits and character that does not glorify God, it is not the will of God for you.
- Choose someone who has capacity to add value to your life. One will chase a thousand and two ten thousand. Iron sharpens iron- Proverbs 27:17, Deuteronomy 32:30. The will of God for us is to marry someone who is productive and who can help us to become better. Not a liability but an asset. Choose someone who can cultivate you to grow spiritually, financially, socially, academically and otherwise. Not someone who wants to drag you backward.
- Choose someone you truly love: Many waters cannot quench love- Songs of Solomon 8:7. The will of God for us is to marry who will truly love, this is not ordinary love, but divinely imparted love. One major way to know the will of God is an unquenchable love for an individual. Don’t ever marry someone you don’t truly love either because of pity, pressure or what the person may possess.
6. Choose someone you have peace of mind in your heart for. The will of God is for us to marry someone we have peace for not someone we are not sure of and also afraid of. And the peace that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6. If you check and no peace continually, it is not the will of God for you.
- Choose someone you are compatible with medically. The will of God for us is to have good health and so he wants us to marry someone who we are compatible with in genotype, blood group etc. Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth- 3 John 1:2.
- Choose someone that the Spirit of God bears witness in your heart about When it is the will of God, the Spirit of God will make you understand that this is the way, walk in therein. And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left- Isaiah 30:21. It can be through intuition, inner voice, dream, revelation, lasting impression upon the heart etc. Know how God speaks to you. If you are not a child of God, you can’t be led by Him.
- Choose someone you are fully persuaded of and sure of after series of confirmations: Before you say someone is the will of God for you, you must be very sure and you must have confirmed with all the principles above, alongside others that I may not have mentioned here.
From every other person that may be close to you and you may be interested in, there must be one person that you have observed and also confirmed that all these principles I shared are connected to that person, which you don’t have for anyone else. Most times that person is the will of God for you.
Note: in all these, you must watch and pray. For is in watching you will observe these things and in praying, you will hear the Spirit of God directing you. Don’t work by sight alone. Take away idols from your heart.
Marriage is a step of faith. If you are looking for someone who is totally 100% and does not a have a weakness, you may not get married. So, take a step of faith as long as you have x-ray your decisions in the light of His words